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Friday, March 25, 2011

question for everyone

Well, first, news update. I had an AWESOME time hanging out with my good buddy Roger. We went to toys r us today, and it was GREAT. It brought out my inner kid, especially when we checked out the LEGOs. However, I suppose my inner kid is not too hard to bring out anyway.

Now, onto the question. Despite being an Asperger's kid, and despite how much Asperger's has affected my friendships, I can say with reasonable conviction that it hasn't affected my romantic relationships much. Perhaps it's the fact that when I get that comfortable with someone, it's really easy for me to be myself. And, as a possible effect of Asperger's, I analyze situations TO DEATH, mostly so I know how to react should a particular outcome arise. Well, I was walking through Books A Million today, and saw TONS of tables with self-help books for relationships, and the vast majority of them had to do with making a relationship last. My question is, why do we need a book on that? Basically succeeding in a romantic relationship requires 2 things:

1. BE YOURSELF. If you are yourself, then that other person can love and appreciate you for who you are. Say what you feel like saying, go with your gut. You want to send that flirty text, SEND IT! But you also have to...

2. USE SOME COMMON SENSE. Maybe part of the problem is that common sense is not so common. But seriously, say you hear a rumor that your partner's cheating on you. Your initial reaction would be to totally blow up at your partner, no? But think back. Has your partner been good to you? If yes, then it's just a stupid rumor, no need to worry about it. But if you blow up at your partner, they're not going to understand, and they might get defensive, causing a huge fight and *gasp!* a breakup! Use some common sense and maybe it won't be that way.

Is that really so hard? If you are being yourself, the friendship part comes naturally. You know what you're comfortable with and what you're not, so it's easy to set boundaries and slowly take them down as the relationship progresses. But people worry over what the other person is going to say. What if he/she doesn't like me? What if he/she thinks I'm weird because of X, Y, or Z? Well let me tell you something. If they don't like you for you, and can't appreciate your strengths and weaknesses, your strong points and shortcomings, and all your weirdness, then they aren't the person for you.

Well, enough lecturing for one day. Comment your agreement/disagreement! :D

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